Current mood: Just a little bit… shit

Do you ever have those days/weeks/months where you feel just a little bit shit?

Not full on depressed; or not even sad.  But just a little bit shit.

Let me explain.

Work is hard at the moment; it’s stressful and although I enjoy it, it’s doing my head in.

Parenthood wise my little man is going through a spiteful phase and is being bloody hard work.

I don’t feel terrible but I don’t feel like I’m doing a good job as a Mum.  Or as a human being to be honest.

Ah, I don’t like how that sounds – I’m not wallowing in a pity-pool-party.  I’m just… a little bit shit.

I’m right slap bang in that slightly-depressed-but-slightly-not-right place.

I’m sleeping okay; my mystery illness is making me so tired I just end up comatose in front of various TV programmes most nights of the week.

Financially we are hard up but I can afford to feed us, so life is all good.

The small one is hard work at the moment but I’m just hoping and praying that it’s a phase and will end soon.

I feel very fat.  The waistband of my leggings and trousers has settled into a nice spot which creates the illusion that I have two guts.  To be fair it’s no fucking illusion – I’m fat and my tummy was ruined by nine months of carrying a big baby and Polyhydramnios.

And eating shit on a daily basis.  I guess that didn’t help.

But I just feel like I’m pootling along.  I’m not upset about anything, but I’m not excited or particularly happy about anything.

My willpower for eating right has long-deserted me, I’m hoping it reappears soon.

Anxiety.  Let’s talk about that major arsehole.  It’s not great at the moment.  I’m scared every time I go out in a car as the driver or a passenger.  And I also panic about every little detail with regard to the mancub.

So, yeah – this may go down in history as the most B-O-R-I-N-G post ever, but it’s where I’m at right now.

I’m feeling some self-love goals coming on – maybe I need to concentrate on being kind to myself and the weight loss and recovery will come after.

 

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I don’t just yet… but maybe if I try I will?

 

Have you been here?  How did you feel?  Is it ok to feel just… a little bit shit?

Lisa

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