Diary of a menopausal bitch aged 31

Yep, very young for the menopause, I hear you.

My lady parts were shot to shit before I had the little monster two years ago, I mean my tummy lady parts and not the foo region.  Yes, I call it a foo, let’s face it, there is no nice name for our nether regions, male or female… Anyhoo… Carrying a nine pound baby around for nine months, a nightmare induction, excess amniotic fluid, an express delivery via the sunroof and then nearly dying did my body no favours, and I’ve had a few problems ever since.

After seeing a specialist they suggested shutting my baby making systems down and putting me into menopause for a few months to see what was going on, and to try and settle things down.

This is done by having a tiny implant insects into my tummy once a month.  I’m not going to lie – it was the thickest scariest looking needle I’ve ever seen, and I was a wreck, but it wasn’t too bad, I was more nervous about how it may make me feel.

The first two months on Zoladex I felt amazing, I had so much energy, everything stopped, and I had no pain.

I’m now in month three and don’t I know it.

The hot flushes.  FML.

I can’t sleep they are so bad – it’s a constant cycle all night of burning hot, and then freezing, it’s bloody miserable.

I have HRT, but not keen to try it, so many horror stories, but I can’t continue to sweat my tits off and burn alive every fifteen minutes!

Two work days ahead now…. I hope I don’t burn alive…

L⚜

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