Tonight I’m going out.
Not just out.
Years ago a friend could call me at 8pm, suggest a night out and I could be ready and out within the hour.
But as a mum it takes weeks of planning.
This night out was on a whim; as we decided to go out two weeks ago.
Cue panic stations. Planning went as follows:
- Decide on a day we could all do
I say ‘decide’ – it’s a case of all being able to pin our husbands/partners down on the same night. A weekend is normally best for this.
2. Decide where to go
In this case this was easy – we live in different directions to the north, south, east and west of London, and so decided on London-town. Boom.
3. Decide on a time
As mums of toddlers we already have to run the gauntlet of weekends filled with birthday parties, sports, swimming lessons and other things. Last time we met at 3pm. Hardcore right? This time we decided on a respectable 6pm.
4. Going-home time
Gone are the days of staggering out of a pub/club at stupid o’clock and either walking home or taking a chance on a taxi turning up. These days sleep a treasured thing and home-time is strategically optimised to squeeze the most out of our time out-out and know that we have our train and cab times sorted so we can roll into bed without any sleep time lost. I even go for the fastest trains – that extra 6 minutes in bed is SO worth it.
Again, this takes planning. London is expensive and food is a must.
Going out-out used to be all about getting as many VK Blues and Corkys shots for a tenner and if you had £2 left for a Rollover hotdog at the end of the night then that was dinner.
These days we all know how horrendous it is to have to rise at 6am and entertain a toddler whilst nursing a hangover.
Quite frankly, the pain of it is worse than childbirth. Lining our tummies with a good meal that is easy on the purse-strings is the basis of a mum’s night out.
Nandos or Pizza Express it is, naturally.
6. Decide what to wear
I speak for myself on this and hope that others can relate. Finding something to wear is a bloody nightmare.
My post baby body requires me to find an outfit that covers and hides my horrendous
gunt mum-tum – bloody c-section left me with a pouch Skippy the Bush Kangaroo would be proud of.
Off-the-shoulder tops are my go-to top at the moment but I’ve yet to find a strapless bra with the strength to hold my baggy-babbalons above my belly button. So I will be rocking bra straps under my top. Zero fucks given.
Skinny jeans. I don’t have the figure for them BUT I love the high-waist on them for containing my jiggly fatty apron.
Flat shoes. I’m 5″2 and should wear heels but I can’t remember the last time I wore heels and I like to be comfortable. Blisters, walking like Bambi and trip hazards? Ain’t nobody got time fo dat.
7. Hair and make-up
Pre-baby: 2 hours and most of it bought from a high-end department store.
Now? 10mins. Wash hair and shower in the morning. Boom. Dust cobwebs off straighteners. Look on Pinterest for easy ways to make hair look presentable. Makeup composes of drawing eyebrows on, foundation, eyeliner, mascara, lipstick if I can find it – if not tinted lip balm. Most bought on the cheap.
Once you have achieved all the above, it’s time to go. I usually walk to the train station and arrive half an hour early to squeeze the most out of my child-free time. I sometimes even talk earphones and listen to music. On my own. #blessed
So, there we have it. A night out from a mum’s POV.
I can’t wait – Pass the Prosecco, Please….