Our Potty Training is turning into a saga.
You could read War and Peace quicker than this shit.
Jokes aside, we are still easing in gently. He is speaking lots now so every time I take his nappy off we have a little chat.
“Right, where do wee-wees and poo-poos go?”
(very excited mancub) “POTTY MUMMEEEEEEEEEEE”
Should be simple right?
Nope. As if parenthood hasn’t taught me by now nothing is fucking easy.
Boys have these little extra bits of flesh that seem to go off and do their own thing.
Cold air generates “lift”(you know what I mean).
This extra bit of flesh can be stretched to roughly three feet long. The hubbo squirms.
I think he’s just jealous. Sorry hubs.
As well as having said extra bit of flesh(we call him the colonel), there is something in their brain that says they must touch, scratch and rearrange the extra bit of flesh.
ALL. THE. FUCKING. TIME.
So I was confused about how to potty train a boy, do we train him to sit or stand and wee?
And you can’t really Google that shit these days.
So as per previous posts I’ve just let him do his own thing. There has been more bodily fluid outside of the potty than actually in it but he seems to be getting there slowly.
It’s definitely a case of winging it. For example, being female, I don’t have to tuck anything in or be fearful of overspray when I go to the toilet.
But little boys, they are human fountains.
As a newborn we had to quickly cover the colonel whenever we took his nappy off; otherwise the colonel would soak the bed/carpet/him/us.
So I find myself sitting next to the small person, teaching him to point the colonel down when he is on the potty.
He sits on his little plastic throne, and I shout a little reminder:
“William, what must you remember?”
(small person with finger on the colonel) “POINT WILLY DOWN MUMMEEEEEE”
Another obstacle overturned. Boom.
I have a feeling it will be a while yet and my posts on potty training may well have about 67 parts and a category of its own.