(Original Post Date – 9/2/17 – accidentally deleted the original, bad Lisa)
The potty is sending me potty.
The mancub was two in November and all I have heard since he was 18 months old is how I should be potty training him.
May I take this opportunity to remind my lovely readers that I am a first time mummy and I’ve never potty trained a child before. I trained my rabbit Harry to do wee-wees and poos in a litter tray when he was indoors and he picked it up well so this should be a doddle right?
Wrong. So wrong.
I’ve tried everything I can think of.
“Let him run around with no clothes on and he will get the hang of it”
Nope. He just gets proud that he has pissed on my carpet and daily dirty protests are now a part of life.
“Make him wear pants, if he wets it won’t feel nice and he will want to get clean”
Firstly; “get clean” – he’s a toddler and not a drug addict. Secondly; not my child. He would spend all day in his soiled Mike the Knight pants and not bat an eyelid. Fail.
“Skip the potty and just get him to use the toilet”
He has a seat to stop him falling in the toilet, and a step so he can reach it. He still refuses.
So where does this leave me?
Last night I decided to pound Google and find research and different approaches whilst downing copious amounts of wine.
There is so much conflicting advice out there, and some of it is so forceful.
This brings me back to my whole mindset on trusting my maternal instinct and doing what I think is best as he is my baby, and I know him best.
While I cried into my Prosecco it dawned on me what a very wise friend had once said. She told me her son was three and a half when he potty trained and it was the best thing she ever did.
She told me to chill out; let him lead me; and not to force him.
She told me that they can tell you when they need the toilet quite young but that doesn’t necessarily mean they are ready to come away from nappies.
She reminded me that typical preschool age is three and a half to four and its not a given that they HAVE to be clean(hate that phrase) by the time they start preschool.
She reminded me that I should just ignore milestones and what other children are doing.
And this is the most important thing – I have always been very proud that I have trusted my own instinct, listened to his needs and not tried to conform to milestones and other children.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not arrogant or ignorant; if I have any concerns about his development or I’m not sure my instinct is right, I will always ask for advice, and adapt as needed.
But the strength of the maternal instinct is so underestimated, and it really makes my shit itch.
I have known other mums to know there is something wrong with their child, and trust in a method or advice from a professional and completely ignore their own gut feelings.
I’m not saying don’t trust advice or anything anyone says, its always important to gain a different perspective on things and learn new ways to parent, but your maternal(and paternal for you amazing daddies) instinct is the most powerful thing you have, use it and trusT it, never doubt it.
Despite everything in the world, no one can ever doubt your love for your child and your parental instinct is a true indicator of such a powerful force that is motherly(and fatherly) love.
So what next in The Potty Saga?
Jack shit, that’s what.
He is clearly not ready and I don’t want to force him. We are in no rush, we are enjoying learning new things and I’m trusting my gut.
Haters can shove the potty up their hating judgemental arseholes.
I’m trusting my maternal instinct and leaving the potty in the corner of the room so it’s there but there is no obligation or pressure.
I’m also off to hire a Rug Doctor, my poor carpets are suffering from puddles of wee and man cub logs.
I’m always interested to hear your experiences and views, please feel free to leave me a comment.
Much love as always,