I actually have some willpower

I’m amazed at myself for what I’ve just done.

I’ve stopped myself binge eating.

It may sound pathetic and like nothing but this is a HUGE deal for me.

I’m tired, my mouth is sore(I had a minor dental op last week that turned major) and I wanted pizza, nachos, and to order as much food as possible and eat the lot.

I’ve not eaten badly today:

Breakfast – bananas on toast(2.5 syns for the spread & 3 syns for the bread that fell outside my HEXB)

Diet Coke

Lunch – Subway Salad(3 syns)

Plus cheese and milk within my HEXA.

8.5 syns total(out of 15).

I feel low and tired and so I wanted pizza. Pizza is my go-to binge food. It’s disgusting really how I can demolish a meal for two or three when I’m on one.

But instead of not even thinking twice about it something in my head made me stop.

No, not pizza. That’s an huge waste of money and calories. Have something else.

I downloaded a takeaway delivery app and was still hell bent on eating myself into next year.

I decided on Mexican… nachos and cheese would do the trick.

I went through the whole order but couldn’t click ‘confirm’.

I thought about it.

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels, I told myself. Now I hate that saying, the word skinny is unhealthy, nothing tastes as good as HEALTHY feels.

I’ve never been able to resist the urge to binge before, ever.

So I went into the kitchen and cooked myself a Chinese style curry for 4 syns.

And here I am – still tired and a little bit low but so pleased with myself.

Everyone told me Slimming World was the worst place for a binge eater, but for the first time in my life I feel in control and I’m making better choices.

It may only be a tiny step, but it’s a step nonetheless.

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