#RockingMotherhood

I was tagged by the lovely Emma over at Emma & Family in the #RockingMotherhood tag that has been doing the rounds of late.
I love things like this, always think its great to pick out some positives about yourself when you can’t easily see them yourself.  Being a mum is hard enough without being so hard on yourself so I’m ignoring Big D and getting my positive hat on.

So, ten things/ways that I am rocking motherhood….

1.  I BECAME A MUM. 

Yes, this is strange I know.  But when we were told we weren’t likely to conceive naturally I thought I would be a crazy cat lady forever.  I became a mum, I grew a human in my belly and kept him safe.  I grew ten fingers and ten toes.  Shit, I’m amazing, I grew a human.

2.  I had a Caesarean.

Nothing says you love your child like giving birth to them.  Someone told me its like a bad period pain.  Well mine wasn’t.  I don’t want to wade in on the whole which-is-more-painful/too-posh-to-push thing, every birth is different, and unfortunately my nine pound hunk of chunk didn’t want to come out via the Canal de Vajojo and I ended up having an emergency C-section.  When I saw the size of his head I was quite glad to be honest, I think I’d have ended up being stitched from my nose to my scalp(and not the short way either) and probably have just split in half.  Too posh to push?  Fuck that, if I could have had a happy natural water birth with whale music, candles, and a couple of paracetamol, that would have been my preferred route.  Instead I ended up with a scar from hip to hip and terrible terrible pain.  What they don’t tell you?  They inflate your belly with gas, for 48hrs after birth that gas has to come out.  It hurts bad… from my belly to my shoulder.  Then there is the chance of paralysis and the twelve-foot long needle that is the Spinal Block.  To be fair that didn’t hurt but being numb up to my nipples was very scary.  And don’t get me started on the first post-baby poo, fuck me that was scary… (“Babe, I think my intestines just fell out heeeeelp”).

3. I had PND.

I will probably never get over the guilt from feeling so bad for the first part of the mancub’s life and I will forever hate the shit-fit that is Post Natal Depression, but as this post is about positives, I still carried on, I still was a mummy, and I still did my best.  I ROCKED IT.

4. I formula fed my baby.

Steady on before you throw the lactation cookies at my head; I tried.  I really bloody tried, and I loved breastfeeding, I however had a bad time in hospital and nearly died so the decision was taken away from me.  I did however feed and express for the first five days, he got all my best bits.  Personally formula worked for us, he was on 9oz bottles by 4 weeks and was always hungry but too gassy for hungry baby milk so I did my best.

5.  I am a working mum.

Again I’m not wanting to upset anyone by this, in fact its quite the opposite.  Any mum that can stay at home full time and keep her shit together is a hero to me.  I couldn’t do it, I love being a mummy and I love spending time with my mancub but I need 18 hours a week to earn some pennies to buy nappies and a decaf soya latte once a week.  I also need adult conversation and I fit 18 hours into two days so its win-win really.  SAHM’s, big respect.

6.  I’m ill.

I have some undiagnosed illness that means I could sleep for 26 hours a day and I ache like a BITCH.  Most days it hurts to breathe let alone be a mummy, a housewife and everything else.  With the help of amazing drugs(legal ones) and a fuck-ton of coffee, I plod on.  And I’m proud that I do.

7.  I’m overweight but I want to raise my child fit and healthy.

I’m overweight and trying to deal with it, and it would be easy to fill my child with turkey twizzlers and sweets and other processed crap.  Don’t get me wrong, he has bad things, but its as a treat and its only when he doesn’t play up(which is never at the moment).

8.  No regrets.

I have no regrets so far in how I have raised my son, I make mistakes, don’t we all, but he is thriving, clever, happy and a little sod, so I can’t be doing too bad.

9.  We splash in muddy puddles.

I was never allowed to put on my wellies and splash in muddy puddles as a child, and I make a point of us doing this.  Same as making mud pies and playing in the sink!

10.  I’m still me.

Despite trouble conceiving, a traumatic birth, post natal depression and other things, I am still me in here.  I love being a mum, I will always firstly be a mum, but I am me and I love that I can rock motherhood and still learn, study, progress and grow as myself and be a better mother as a result.

I’m nominating Mrs Hergerburger at Making Little People as I read her “The Fear” blog earlier and its like it was plucked from my own head! (If you have already done it I apologise!)

Lx

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