I wanted to write you a letter this morning, to tell you how much I love you. I tell you every day, every moment I get, how much I love you. I would do anything for you, you are my life, and my true love.
I read an article this morning about the instant bond between a mummy and a baby when a baby is born. It spoke of an immediate love and a strong, unbreakable bond, that exists from the moment a baby enters the world.
William, I’m sorry, this didn’t happen for mummy. I knew I loved you, I knew I would do anything for you.
But I was so very poorly; it was the greatest moment of my life when I met you. Mummy and daddy had waited for you and wanted you so badly for many years.
I want to be honest with you – I want you to learn that being honest and true and saying how you feel is always the very best thing to do, and I want you to always be honest with mummy and daddy.
Mummy got very poorly when you were born; so poorly that the doctors and daddy were very worried about mummy.
Being so poorly made mummy’s head very poorly. Mummy couldn’t think straight; and the nasty illness in mummy’s head made mummy very unhappy, and very sad.
Deep down mummy was so happy, she had all she ever wanted. But the naughty illness in mummy’s head made her angry, and sad, and it stopped mummy from feeling that first rush of love, and that immediate bond.
Please don’t think that mummy didn’t love you – sometimes when people have poorly brains it makes them feel differently about things.
Looking back, I wish I could have been so very different. But at the same time I look at you, my beautiful, handsome, clever boy, and I know I couldn’t have done any better.
You say please and thank you. You tell mummy and daddy that you love them.
You have hit every milestone and you are growing into an amazing little person.
Mummy sometimes gets a little bit sad sometimes. But you remind mummy every day how far we have come and how strong our love is.
The bond we have now is unbreakable – you are my best friend, my true love, my greatest creation.
I hope you understand, mummy has never stopped loving you, my love for you has grown every single day.
We have overcome every struggle, and found happiness in every single day.
I love you, William, always and forever.