Beating Big D: Counselling & Therapy Update

I wanted to write a little update about counselling and how I feel in general.

Every Wednesday I am having an hour-long session with a counsellor online and we discuss anything and everything, as per my previous post.

At the end of each session we set goals and sometimes some reading material to help me over the next week. Continue reading “Beating Big D: Counselling & Therapy Update”

Is it only in my head? When mental health gets physical

It’s generally believed that mental illness is just that – in your head.

But sometimes the stresses in your head get so great that mental illness starts affecting you slightly more and showing physically. Continue reading “Is it only in my head? When mental health gets physical”

Beating Big D: Online Therapy

In my local area there is an organisation called Ieso Digital Health which is a self referral service for online and telephone counselling and therapy.

I have tried it in the past and found because I was feeling better or off my nut on anti-depressants it didn’t really work for me, and I’ve kind of just gone it alone.

I met with my GP last week and she suggested I try again, as it may really help if I approach with the thought of it just being a chat with someone and not expecting a cure. Continue reading “Beating Big D: Online Therapy”

Stress… you son of a bitch

I am mega fucking stressed at the moment.  I am moaning continuously about constant headaches which I’ve tried to pin on dehydration and lack of sugar but there’s no denying I am in a constant flap and my teeth are so clenched they are nigh-on surgically fused together.

I had a routine appointment with my GP today to discuss the usual things and was expecting a fat-bashing and ‘have you tried Slimming World?’ conversation.

Damn, how wrong was I.

My blood pressure is high and I had a bit of a talking to about minimising stress and not getting so stressed out it triggers a fibro-flare and depressive episode.  I’m off anti depressants and I really want to try and avoid them if I can.

Life is stressful and I thought I was coping okay to be honest.  When I really thought about it I am in a near constant flap about money.  At work I am getting so worked up my chest goes tight and at home my teeth are clenched all the time.

Yet again I was offered pills which she reassured me were not anti depressants but would help ease the tension; I’ve agreed but I’m not sure.

I’m trying so hard to stay off medication and in order to do so I need to try and sort my shit out.

This is the part where I should write some tips but I’ve not worked that bit out yet. 

Sleep, good eating, exercise… what else can I do?


So I finally after four months got a place for counselling and help with Big D, after a long wait for the secondary mental health service.

I have to attend every Wednesday at 3pm and I only get six appointments. When I said I would have to let them know as I had to arrange childcare they said that wasn’t an option and if I couldn’t do that time I would be discharged. Continue reading “Frustrated”

My brain – more pickled than your average gherkin

Yesterday was a bit of a weird day; we walked to the hospital for an appointment I had regarding the mystery illness and it was a beautiful sunny day that started full of positives.

And then they told me I have Hypermobility and potentially another disease off the back of it and it went a little bit shit from there. Continue reading “My brain – more pickled than your average gherkin”

A slight case of the wobbles but otherwise… I’m sweet

I am now three weeks clear of the happy pills and I’m feeling pretty good for the most part.

My motivation and true emotions seem to be coming back which is both good and bad as I cry at everything.


I feel like the true ‘me’ is coming back and although I’m still healing and my head is still mega pickled I feel pretty good. Continue reading “A slight case of the wobbles but otherwise… I’m sweet”

Big D & Me: Going Solo

It’s currently 3am and I’m wide awake and not loving life.

I’ve been free of painkillers and all medication except Levothyroxine for twelve days.

I can feel the old me coming back and my mind is a bit of a pickle.

My aches and pains are still going but I seem to have broken the painkiller cycle and I can cope a lot better without painkillers, I think I had built up a huge tolerance and they just weren’t working as well. Continue reading “Big D & Me: Going Solo”