As a fat chick I knew the day would come when my little dude would say something weight-related to me. I’ve expected it for a while, and I told myself I’d laugh it off when it happens.
And so this week, age four and a half, it happened – we were having a random conversation at home, he was colouring and I was washing up.
“Mummy, I have a new teacher at (pre)school. She’s really nice” he said.
“That’s nice darling, what is her name?” I replied.
“I don’t know mummy, but she has a REALLY big tummy just like you”.
There it was – the comment I’d been waiting for. I was mortified if I’m honest – I’ve always been conscious of my weight and always wanted to be able to shift the weight and not be a fat mum.
I’d told myself 2019 would be my year – it would be the year I finally lose the weight and get healthy. I’ve had a post in draft since December which details how my Rheumatologist has given me six months to get fit and healthy – I’m unable to go back on biologic injections until my random mouth issue is sorted out and I’ve been give six months to shape up and try and sort my life out.
The reason the post is in draft is because I concocted a plan of healthy eating – which I’ve not been able to commit to and I’ve even consulted professional help which didn’t work out so well(I’ll save that for another blog post).
The thing is, sometimes I struggle to write about how I really feel. I always want to be open and honest on here and across social media but the battle with my weight seems to fall flat when I share it publicly. So for now I’m keeping it to myself, just until I know where I’m heading with it.
Life is a little bit, well, shitty, at present – and so I’ve decided to step back from certain things and focus on myself for a while. I’ll still be blogging and I’ll still be on social media – but I’m really going to be focusing on being active every day and on a healthy diet.
So, friends and family who might be reading this – I’m not being awkward by not wanting to eat out or go out; it’s just I want to really focus on eating well and not sabotaging my good intentions.
It’s not just eating though – some days I just don’t want to go out and socialise. I’m done with being labelled a loner and socially awkward because I like to be by myself sometimes – I might be a little low, but sometimes I just need some time to think and breathe.
I also won’t be detailing my eating plans on here at the moment – I have plans to push Pass the Prosecco Please into a foodie direction with recipes, meal plans and much more, but I can only do that if I learn to love food again.
Bit of an odd post I know – but believe me when I say I’m not on a downer at all. I have six months to sort my shit out, and I have every intention of walking into the Rheumatology appointment in six months slimmer, healthier, fitter and feeling better.
I got this, bitches.