I am now three weeks clear of the happy pills and I’m feeling pretty good for the most part.
My motivation and true emotions seem to be coming back which is both good and bad as I cry at everything.
I feel like the true ‘me’ is coming back and although I’m still healing and my head is still mega pickled I feel pretty good.
I find it really hard to describe how my head feels but I’m going to try.
Feelings. I actually have feelings. I’m still a cold hearted bitch in respect to my husband having man flu but I feel things again – when the mancub wishes me good night and tells me he loves me I just want to explode and the rush of love is unbearable. I’m not used the feeling like that, it’s amazing although a little overwhelming.
I’m crying at many things. TV programmes, especially. Call the Midwife and Moana have induced major headaches from full on sobbing this week.
Listening to Radio 2 at work and ‘Memory’ comes on. Good grief, that set me off bad.
I’m finding myself thinking long and hard about friendship and people close to me; filtering out the good from the bad, that sort of thing.
Sleep. I am sleeping like a baby. Hang on let me rephrase that because we all know they don’t sleep, whoever came up with that phrase needs a good hard kick in the gonads.
I am sleeping like a tortoise deep in hibernation. I am comatose and I wake up feeling refreshed.
For the first time in years I am getting proper sleep. The vivid dreams are also calming down too.
Energy wise things aren’t too bad; I feel motivated to move more which is good and my FitBit is back on. I’ve recently upgraded and I’m loving the freedom of different straps and watch faces, with loads available from places like https://mobilemob.com.au/. I’m finding it really motivating for sleep tracking and just general health tracking.
I am having slight wobbles over everything which I think is my head readjusting to normal again.
Should I go to Tesco? Should I say this? What will people think? Yadda yadda yadda.
But overall the anxiety isn’t too bad and I feel okay.
I hope things stay like this, I feel pretty good although my joint and muscle pain isn’t great I’m walking and moving again and I really want to get better.
A nice positive post from me; happy Sunday all!