In my local area there is an organisation called Ieso Digital Health which is a self referral service for online and telephone counselling and therapy.
I have tried it in the past and found because I was feeling better or off my nut on anti-depressants it didn’t really work for me, and I’ve kind of just gone it alone.
I met with my GP last week and she suggested I try again, as it may really help if I approach with the thought of it just being a chat with someone and not expecting a cure.
I could see what she meant and so this morning I had my first appointment. with a counsellor.
To refer yourself you visit a central website which tells you which services are available in your area, and then you can fill in a short form explaining who you are and how you are feeling.
I had a response back within three days and I was allocated a counsellor who allocated me an initial appointment today for 30 minutes to go through what my issues are and a plan of action.
You have to fill in a few questions each time which ask you on scales of 1-10 how you are feeling and your current circumstances, relating to mood, anxiety and social factors.
So I logged on and joined a chat session with my counsellor this morning, after introductions we discussed in more detail what my problems are and we set some goals to work towards.
I have struggled with counselling over the phone and in person as child care can be an issue, so this works really well for me, plus I tend to take things in better in writing. In person I also cry a lot and can’t always get my words out.
I believe you can have 6-8 sessions and after the initial session the sessions last an hour.
It is a mainly CBT(Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) approach which I’ll be honest I’ve never believed in before, but I need to fight this and I so want to feel better. I’ll give anything a go, I need to sort my pickled brain out.
So, I’m putting my feelings out on the table and sharing my story with you.
- I have been a binge eater since I was 12, and have been stuck in a cycle of bingeing and starving ever since.
- I think so badly of myself I struggle to go out, I don’t ever want to talk to anyone for fear of how I will repulse them.
- My life is driven by guilt and my poor relationship with food.
- My depression is pretty bad at the moment – I feel like myself but I am low and I am struggling with daily life.
- My little man is my life – I don’t want him growing up and seeing me with so much hate for myself, and seeing my poor eating habits.
While I am working through therapy I am concentrating on being kind to myself and eating the right things to make my body and mind happy.
By that I don’t mean pizza and processed junk. I’m trying to concentrate on my love of cooking and focusing on flavour and creating nice dishes for me and my family.
I’m really looking into ways to be kind to myself – in the coming weeks I am going to try all sorts of things like meditation, natural remedies and therapies and so on.
One of the main things I do when I feel bad is I weirdly stop drinking and get so dehydrated I feel dreadful. My aim for today is simple – drink water, and be kind to myself.
More after my next session.