I’ve not written about my weight loss for a while, for a few reasons:
- I’ve not lost any weight
- I’ve lost all willpower
- I’ve fallen back into the faddy diets cycle again.
As I wrote back in September I joined Slimming World and lost a stone, and was chuffed to pieces as it came off within a month, however over the next six months I just lost and regained the same two pounds, and became really pissed off and demotivated.
I spoke about the avocado a few months back – and after basically falling back into a pattern of starving myself and then bingeing because I was hungry I decided enough is enough.
I sat down, opened up a notebook and I wrote.
I wrote my goals – to lose weight, to be a healthy weight, and to be fit.
I wrote my inspirations – my son, my husband, and myself, because I deserve to be happy and healthy.
I wrote my barriers – my OCD tendencies to starve and binge, to weight myself too often, and to abandon things when I slip up.
And the most interesting thing I wrote? What do I really want to eat? What do I want to do, exercise wise?
Because for years I’ve been a slave to whatever fad diet I’ve been following. I’ve spent a ridiculous amount of money on foods I simply don’t like, and I become sucked in to these fad diets, giving them all my money when in reality, it shouldn’t cost money to lose weight.
There it is, the statement I’ve never realised – it shouldn’t cost money to lose weight. There is money in weight loss, because men and women all over the world want to lose weight, fast and easily.
And it’s a vicious cycle. I’ve tried just about every diet going, and for every stone I’ve ever lost I’m now carrying an extra two.
You see I’ve forgotten what I like to eat. I’ve forgotten how I normally eat. I’ve completely lost myself in the chaos of years of yo-yo dieting.
And I’ve become ashamed of the fact I love food. I love cooking, I love tasting, and I especially love eating.
And there is nothing wrong with that – it’s as much a part of me as my eye colour, and so I should embrace it.
And so I wrote my dream meal plan for the week – nothing flash, nothing crazy, I just wrote what I would eat for a week if I didn’t have to worry about my weight, money or anything.
And the results were amazing – toast, sandwiches, soups, pasta, curries – it was a balanced diet, with plenty of healthy foods and could easily be tweaked to help me lose weight.
Eurgh. Why does it always have to come back to weight loss? Unfortunately the fact is I have to lose weight, but I need to find a way to do it that works with me.
And I came back to calorie counting. The most basic of weight loss ‘plans’ – science says if you cut 3500 calories a week from your diet you will lose a pound.
Sounds simple right? Wrong – it’s still a bloody minefield.
I have an underactive thyroid and therefore my metabolism is slow. I also have a form of insulin resistance from PCOS, which mean I have to go a little bit easy on refined carbs.
And the internet doesn’t help – I worked out in various different places that calculations and methods for the amount of calories you should eat a day varies massively.
On average a woman should eat 2000 calories a day, a man 2500 – just to maintain their current weight.
One calculator told me to eat 1800 calories a day to lose weight, another 1200 – and I know from experience I won’t lose weight at 1800 yet 1200 will put my body into starvation mode.
And so I’ve decided to wing it a little, and listen to my body – I’m starting off at 1500 calories a day, allowing a little flexibility to 1600 at the weekend and seeing how it goes.
I’ve tried a few different apps, and I’m still finding one that suits, Nutracheck is working out well at the moment.
I have no scales – so I’ll be popping into town in a week or two to use the scary-looking pharmacy ones, I’m also trying to to sweat it if I go over.
For example last night I felt rough, my anxiety isn’t great at the moment and I was hungry, I needed comfort food. Normally I’d spunk 3000 or more calories on a takeaway, instead I cooked a bolognese with lots of veg, and let myself have a little cheese and a piece of garlic bread. For 150 extra calories, totally worth it.
And so we shall see – I have no idea whether I’m doing the right thing or not – but I’ll give it a bloody good go.
Like it? Pin it…