Do you ever have those days/weeks/months where you feel just a little bit shit?
Not full on depressed; or not even sad. But just a little bit shit.
Let me explain.
Work is hard at the moment; it’s stressful and although I enjoy it, it’s doing my head in.
Parenthood wise my little man is going through a spiteful phase and is being bloody hard work.
I don’t feel terrible but I don’t feel like I’m doing a good job as a Mum. Or as a human being to be honest.
Ah, I don’t like how that sounds – I’m not wallowing in a pity-pool-party. I’m just… a little bit shit.
I’m right slap bang in that slightly-depressed-but-slightly-not-right place.
I’m sleeping okay; my mystery illness is making me so tired I just end up comatose in front of various TV programmes most nights of the week.
Financially we are hard up but I can afford to feed us, so life is all good.
The small one is hard work at the moment but I’m just hoping and praying that it’s a phase and will end soon.
I feel very fat. The waistband of my leggings and trousers has settled into a nice spot which creates the illusion that I have two guts. To be fair it’s no fucking illusion – I’m fat and my tummy was ruined by nine months of carrying a big baby and Polyhydramnios.
And eating shit on a daily basis. I guess that didn’t help.
But I just feel like I’m pootling along. I’m not upset about anything, but I’m not excited or particularly happy about anything.
My willpower for eating right has long-deserted me, I’m hoping it reappears soon.
Anxiety. Let’s talk about that major arsehole. It’s not great at the moment. I’m scared every time I go out in a car as the driver or a passenger. And I also panic about every little detail with regard to the mancub.
So, yeah – this may go down in history as the most B-O-R-I-N-G post ever, but it’s where I’m at right now.
I’m feeling some self-love goals coming on – maybe I need to concentrate on being kind to myself and the weight loss and recovery will come after.
Have you been here? How did you feel? Is it ok to feel just… a little bit shit?