Dear sodding Diary: I’m a mardy arse

Thursday 6th September 2018

Dear sodding Diary,

I’ve not written in a while; life has been a bit busy and, well, I couldn’t really be arsed.  Diet wise, you know those last few posts I wrote about clean eating and my plans for calorie counting?

Ignore them – it all went to shit when we went away to the Isle of Wight for a few days and I’d already kind of decided that they weren’t going to work for me – the more and more I thought about things I knew deep down that carbs were my main problem – so I’ve gone keto.

Today is day 4 and it’s been okay; it’s a strange way of eating and I’ve had constant headaches.  But enough about diet – I’ll come back to that another day.  I’ve already become a keto bore…

I guess I should mention the moods, though – I’ve been really fucking irritable for days and it seems to be getting worse.  Tonight I’m literally exhausted and I want to rip everyone’s heads off.

Grrr.

But why?  Pre-school has started again, Tuesday-Thursday I now get four hours to myself, and it’s been lovely.  The boy has reluctantly gone back but seems to be enjoying himself and the stimulation is making his behaviour much better.  He even got a special sticker today for being so good.  Proud mummy moment.

My work rota has changed – I now work all my weekday hours in one week, meaning this week I work seven days straight and then have seven days off.  It’s a bit full on – it’s only short shifts and only evenings but it’s knocked my sleep pattern out and it’s making me a little miserable.

Because of the dreaded flares that come with my chronic illness I live in constant fear that this week will fall around a flare – I also miss my 7pm bath I usually have every night; it proper chills me out and relaxes me.  So yes, the lack of baths are making me a little mardy, also.  How high-maintanance does that statement make me sound…

There is light at the end of the tunnel – Saturday night the boy is going to stay with Nanny and Grandad meaning me and hubs have the first night to ourselves in a long time.

When I say a long time – it’s been seven or eight months since he’s stayed over with anyone apart from us; and it’s been over two years since we’ve actually had a date night.

And it’s really showing – we’ve got stuck in a rut of watching separate TV programmes and neglecting our relationship.  I’m guilty of constantly analysing and worrying about my parenting and relationship with the boy but I don’t invest enough time in my marriage.

Don’t worry – I’m not getting deep in relationship woes as we don’t have any to be honest.  Eight years down the line we are still happy and everything is well and okay, I just miss the time we had as a couple.  I miss being able to enjoy a meal out without arguing with a small person over chicken nuggets.

What we’ll do I have no idea – with us both new to keto I don’t really want to sabotage our efforts.  I need to find cuisine that’s keto-friendly – if anyone has any suggestions, please hit me up 🙂

Anyways – I’m at work until 10pm(it’s 8pm) and I’m going to make myself a cup of tea and catch up on Bake Off…

Lisa x

 

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