I have been in the blogging world for a few months now and I love The Bloggerhood – I’ve (virtually) met so many lovely people and I wanted to celebrate this by featuring some amazing daddy bloggers.
The blogging world is predominantly female-orientated and recently there’s been a spate of dad-blogger bashing which is not cool.
#FatherhoodFriday is a celebration of daddy bloggers and I’m so excited to share some awesome bloggers with you over the next few weeks – for anyone wishing to take part, you are more than welcome, please get in touch!
This week I am pleased to feature Steve AKA DaddyStinks…
A little about Steve…
Steve is a daddy blogger with a difference. I hope to capture the reality of being a full-time single dad whilst currently homeless, suffering from PTSD acquired from my nine years in the military. Learning how to bring up children in a way that will make them proud. Whilst learning on the job and making mistakes along the way. For example it has only recently occurred to me that if one of my children have lied to me it doesn’t mean they are liars it means they are fearful, could this mean I have over reacted in the past. I can be found on twitter @daddystinks or on Facebook and my blog is daddystinks.co.uk.
1. Tell us a little about you, and your family…
Hey, I am Steve I am a 32 year old full time single dad of Lexie aged 9 and Kieran aged 8. Due to circumstances out of my control we are currently living in a hostel as we are homeless. On top of this I am suffering from PTSD which was an everlasting reminder of my time in Afghanistan working on the ambulances. Although this was 7 years ago I got diagnosed on the 20th April this year.
2. Tell us about your blog…
I started DaddyStinks because I figured that if I can somehow manage to turn all this around whilst single handed bringing up the two children that I got custody of September 2016 it will go along way to support other single parents male or female in their own adventures. I don’t want a single parent to feel they have made the wrong choice when they took custody of their children. (Shit I didn’t mean this to be so deep).
3. How did you feel when you discovered you were going to become a daddy for the first time?
Oh my gosh this was the single greatest feeling I have ever had. Ever since I was small I was told I can’t have children and it’s all I ever wanted. So when I found out my fiancée was expecting I was absolutely over the moon. I remember the exact moment she told me I was in my barrack block watching the TV when she phoned to tell me. I remember banging on all the doors jumping around yelling I am going to be a daddy I am going to be a dad. It wasn’t until someone in the other end of the block said to me “That’s nice but go put some boxers on” that I eventually calmed down. It was the best!!!!!
4. Can you remember how you felt when your first child was born?
We actually had a really traumatic labour I say we because I nearly had my hand broken that day so I feel we were in it together. Lexie was born with 2 knots in her umbilical cord and it was also wrapped around her neck so she needed a little assistance from about 4 million midwives doctors and I think the cleaner got involved.
In all seriousness I think I went through every single emotion that evening I am just so lucky that I stole the gas and air!
5. What has been your biggest challenge as a dad?
The part I am at now being homeless jobless and struggling mentally while trying to bring the kids up properly is the biggest challenge. I have been pulled from pillow to post in the fight for custody but this bit is far worse. That said they both got awarded purple light (it’s awarded for amazing acts of community spirit) at school toward the back end of Easter term so we are doing okay.
6. Tell us a funny parenting story!
This was going to be an Easter like no other, so feeling mischievous and donning devils horns rather than bunny ears I set about creating an egg hunt with a sinister twist. I decided it would be rather amusing to substitute a few of the mini eggs for wasabi nuts. If you have ever tasted a wasabi nut you would know the distinctive peppery overtones, which my 8 year old son was soon to become all too familiar with; much to his disgust. Watching him put it in his mouth I did everything I could which included some harsh tongue biting to stop myself squealing out with joy at my rather sadistic prank. Much to my absolute delight I watched his little face wrinkle up in confusion and horror at what he had just put in his mouth. At this point if I was a mummy I could safely say my tears would have streamed down my legs.
7. How do you fit blogging in around parenting?
I fit my blogging in whilst the kids are at school or whilst they are in bed. PTSD has many downsides but one of the advantages is the lack of sleep. I can get so much done during the day, but I can also spend my evenings doing the housework, ironing shirts, polishing shoes or blogging.
8. What would you say are your best qualities as a parent?
My best qualities as a father for me is I respect and talk to my children as adults but I teach them as children. I believe children are like small plants. If you want them to flower into beautiful specimens you have to put the work and guidance in when they are children. I remember reading a poem called small hands about fingerprints on the wall and wishing the kids would grow up. I remember making a decision that day that I will never say in a minute to my kids. The washing up, blogging or cooking can wait my children won’t be young forever
9. What advice would you give any first time dads?
Do not run away. You have been given the gift of a child man up and make the best damn human you can make. Grow up and put your kid first because you will be surprised at how much an influence a dad has on a child. Take loads of photos keep a diary of their biggest achievements and no matter what happens in life NEVER forget you made that life you need to protect, love and support it.
10. Name your top three parenting essentials for new dads/parents.
A sense of humour, patience and a good heart.
Thank you so much for reading, and a huge thank you to Steve AKA DaddyStinks for joining in – if you like what you read, please share; and if you would like to join in, please get in touch!