Going Potty: My son is a fountain

Our Potty Training is turning into a saga.

You could read War and Peace quicker than this shit.

Jokes aside, we are still easing in gently.  He is speaking lots now so every time I take his nappy off we have a little chat.

“Right, where do wee-wees and poo-poos go?”

(very excited mancub) “POTTY MUMMEEEEEEEEEEE”

Should be simple right?

Nope.  As if parenthood hasn’t taught me by now nothing is fucking easy.

Boys have these little extra bits of flesh that seem to go off and do their own thing.

Cold air generates “lift”(you know what I mean).

This extra bit of flesh can be stretched to roughly three feet long.  The hubbo squirms.

I think he’s just jealous.  Sorry hubs.

As well as having said extra bit of flesh(we call him the colonel), there is something in their brain that says they must touch, scratch and rearrange the extra bit of flesh.

ALL. THE. FUCKING. TIME.

So I was confused about how to potty train a boy, do we train him to sit or stand and wee?

And you can’t really Google that shit these days.

So as per previous posts I’ve just let him do his own thing.  There has been more bodily fluid outside of the potty than actually in it but he seems to be getting there slowly.

It’s definitely a case of winging it.  For example, being female, I don’t have to tuck anything in or be fearful of overspray when I go to the toilet.

But little boys, they are human fountains.

As a newborn we had to quickly cover the colonel whenever we took his nappy off; otherwise the colonel would soak the bed/carpet/him/us.

So I find myself sitting next to the small person, teaching him to point the colonel down when he is on the potty.

He sits on his little plastic throne, and I shout a little reminder:

“the mancub, what must you remember?”

(small person with finger on the colonel) “POINT WILLY DOWN MUMMEEEEEE”

Another obstacle overturned.  Boom.

I have a feeling it will be a while yet and my posts on potty training may well have about 67 parts and a category of its own.

 

 

11 thoughts on “Going Potty: My son is a fountain

  1. Ha ha, I remember this well with my son. Although I have to say, I think potty training him will seem like a doddle compared to his sister who seems to like being wet ? Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday

  2. I like to think it would be relatively easy, but then again who am i kidding? Ben has learnt to spread his legs super wide when we clean his bum which makes it super easy to do. Luckily he’s never wee’ed on me… yet!
    Thanks for linking up another post with us at #TriumphantTales.

  3. Oh wow. I can’t help but sit here feeling a little smug that I don’t have to do this again anytime soon. All I can say to you is this. It will happen when he is ready. I wrote a post ‘Toilet Training Tales’ a while back. Basically, it explains how we nailed it, we then experienced regression, then one day he decided he was ready and it really was a breeze. He sat down to wee to start with and then he decided he wanted to stand like Daddy. Cue Daddy’s job!! I couldn’t exactly show him how to do that!! It’s easier said than done, but don’t stress it. It will happen when the time is right. Good luck! 🙂 Thank you for linking up to #TriumphantTales, please do come back next week!

  4. ‘Dinkle down’ is the phrase we have always used (nappy position essential!). My son is 6 and still sits to wee but my nephew always stands so I think it is personal preference. They do say that boys are harder to train than girls… #stayclassymama

  5. Haha Oh god I remember this phase with my son. We started off sitting with willy down and now he is five he stands up…sometimes he likes to go no handed and sprays up the back of the toilet..Progressing onto that not my son likes to poke his testicles and then ask in the supermarket what their job is. I love being a boys mum. Thank you for linking to #stayclassymama xx

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