It’s Thursday lunchtime, the boy is at preschool and the dog is going batshit crazy over a cat in the garden.
I’m sat at my desk(the kitchen table) eating crudites(posh name for carrot sticks innit) and hummus(middle class wannabe) and enjoying the quiet.
Except I’m not enjoying the quiet. I’m fucking raging and I have no idea why.
This rage started yesterday, the moment I woke up. My husband said good morning and kissed me goodbye and I wanted to stab him* in the head. Fucking crazy, right?
*I would never stab him. Or anyone else. Read on, don’t judge…
He had done nothing. N-O-T-H-I-N-G.
And despite every month claiming to not know why, the reason for this? My period. Aunt Flo. The monthly curse. Surfing the crimson tide(spew).
Whatever you want to call it, it fucking sucks.
PMS hits me roughly about a week before the delightful event occurs; usually making me ridiculously weepy and hyper-sensitive.
A few days before it turns me into a vile psycho-bitch from hell.
And it really gets me down.
Because I’m not a crazy psycho-bitch. Yes, I’m crazy, and yes I moan a lot but I’m not horrible.
I can literally feel the hormones surging and my mood changing as it happens – the best way to describe this is to tell you the story of the slice of cake I ate yesterday.
I felt sad, so I wanted cake.
I went and bought cake. I was happy.
I started eating the cake. I was angry, because I didn’t really need cake.
Halfway through the cake I felt blissfully happy.
And then I dropped the cake on the floor and I wanted to kill myself.
All the while my head feels like it’s going to explode, because I can’t keep up with the range of emotions I’m feeling.
It’s almost like for a full week a month I’m a different person – I don’t feel like myself at all, and its really soul destroying to, well, turn into a different person for a few days.
Recent research shows that PMS can cause and affect mental health, making women more anxious, self conscious and depressed.
And it’s not all emotional and mental – other symptoms include stomach pain, bloating, headaches, backache, nausea, weight gain(up to 1kg!), insomnia and painful boobs.
What a time to be alive, eh. Womanhood for the win.
Me? As well as turning mental I get backache, migraines, weight gain and I struggle to drive when my period is due.
Yes – I said drive – I can’t park a car FOR SHIT when all this is going on. I’ve been known to abandon the car and catch a bus if I need to go somewhere to avoid the embarrassment of shameful parking.
After chatting with friends over the years I’ve learnt to accept that I’m just a little bit shit sometimes because of hormones and its okay to be crazy sometimes; statistically nearly all women suffer from PMS with 1 in 20 women finding the symptoms become so severe they cannot carry on with normal day-to-day life(known as Pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder, or PMDD).
I read an article earlier this month where a man(no comment) argued that there was no such thing as PMS(Pre-menstrual Syndrome) and it is in fact a myth.
I think we would all disagree, right ladies?
As much as I joke, if you are concerned and struggling, have a chat with your doctor as most symptoms can be managed with things like the contraceptive pill and much more; the NHS have lots of information here.
All the hugs and wine x
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