When there are is so much in the blogosphere telling you to change one aspect of your life here, or something just there, it’s very hard to know if you’re making a decision based on something you really want, or something you think you should really want.
Sometimes it’s better to opt out of the whole change culture completely and find a way of being happy just as you are, where you are and with what you have. Easier said than done we know, but there are some ways of taking the anxiety out of life and the fear away from feeling that we’re getting everything wrong.
In this blog, we take a look at reducing anxiety and letting go of the need for approval from others, whether in the world of blogs or from our real life friends and family.
Sure, there are some things that you need to change. You need to fix stuff in your home if it’s broken or in need of some specialist intervention, but you? You know what? You’re pretty awesome just as you are.
Reality bites hard
The main problem with thinking that you’ll be happier when you’re thinner or richer or when you’ve tamed your hair or sorted out your wrinkles is that you’re always looking for the tomorrow that never arrives. One of the very best ways to learn acceptance of who you are is to ground yourself very much in the present and take a long look at who you are right now and not who you’ll be ten years from now.
It’s tough to do and you might want to explore some meditation or mindfulness techniques to do this but sitting quietly, focusing on who you are right now and making peace with that can be an immensely liberating thing to do.
One of the very best techniques you can follow is trying to see yourself how the people who love you see you. If your toddler loves your big tummy, imagine how comforting and warm you are to them, a complete source of security. Imagine how much your partner loves you and finds you attractive, even when you don’t see it in yourself. You are more than your looks, you’re the glue that holds your family together.
Avoid miracle cures
You know that, in reality, fad lifestyle changes don’t work so if you really do have to change something about yourself then base it in reality. Are you really going to cope on a liquid-only detox diet and should you even start? Instead seek professional help without the gimmicks and find long-term changes that make a real difference to the way you feel, not just the way you look. Think about gaining more energy and fitness, not just losing weight.
There’s only one of you, so be kind to yourself and give yourself a break now and again from the constant inner voice that tells you you’re not enough and that you need to change. Stay awesome.
**This is a collaborative post**