Sinking? I hate you, depression

Sinking? I hate you, depression

My mood has taken a massive nose-dive this week and the most frustrating thing about it? I have no fucking idea why. (more…)
I love you, even when it rains

I love you, even when it rains

I've never written my birth story.  A few people have told me it's strange that I haven't when I have written so openly and honestly about everything else. I've tried so many times; and I end up so traumatised and...Read More

An update on me & my mental health

I've abused my blog and not written an update in a little while so I figured I'd bash some thoughts and feelings out today. I've been on Duloxetine for a while now; quite how long I don't know as I'm...Read More
Being bad ass: will I love my child?

Being bad ass: will I love my child?

An email popped up yesterday. "Your toddler at 32 months" - I'll be honest, I count in years and have no idea in months. Three year ago I was 24 weeks pregnant; I was depressed, scared, anxious, and a mess....Read More

Depression & dehydration – my 7 day challenge

I've now been on duloxetine for five weeks and I've had a slight increase in dosage to try and ease the anxiety but for the most part I am feeling better. Well.  I thought I was anyways. (more…)
Duloxetine – my 3 week update

Duloxetine – my 3 week update

I've now had a full three weeks taking my new anti depressants and I wanted to write a quick update as to how I am feeling. I was really apprehensive about taking Duloxetine(brand name Cymbalta) due to reading too many...Read More
Duloxetine & a fresh start

Duloxetine & a fresh start

As mentioned in my post earlier this week I'm back on anti-depressants and feeling pretty pants about it. I really want to feel well enough to not need them anymore; however I can see it is making me poorly and physically...Read More

Sinking

I don't even know where to start with this; my head is a mess and I'm just completely pickled at the moment. I had another counselling session yesterday and a particularly bad day with the small one. (more…)
Beating Big D: Counselling & Therapy Update

Beating Big D: Counselling & Therapy Update

I wanted to write a little update about counselling and how I feel in general. Every Wednesday I am having an hour-long session with a counsellor online and we discuss anything and everything, as per my previous post. At the...Read More
Beating Big D: Online Therapy

Beating Big D: Online Therapy

In my local area there is an organisation called Ieso Digital Health which is a self referral service for online and telephone counselling and therapy. I have tried it in the past and found because I was feeling better or...Read More
My friend Big D

My friend Big D

I have this friend called Big D. We have been friends for as long as I can remember, and he is always around. I wake up to multiple missed calls and voicemails from him, telling me how horrible I am....Read More
Stress… you son of a bitch

Stress… you son of a bitch

I am mega fucking stressed at the moment.  I am moaning continuously about constant headaches which I've tried to pin on dehydration and lack of sugar but there's no denying I am in a constant flap and my teeth are...Read More
Frustrated

Frustrated

So I finally after four months got a place for counselling and help with Big D, after a long wait for the secondary mental health service. I have to attend every Wednesday at 3pm and I only get six appointments....Read More
Crying

Crying

I couldn't think of a better title for this post and the word itself just makes me think of Only Fools and Horses.  Cwying.... But this word also best describes me today. (more…)