It’s only natural that we want the very best for our little darlings. From the first moment you set eyes on your little cherub, you fell instantly in love and felt nothing but an overwhelming desire to ensure that he or she grew up healthy, loved, and happy. Fast forward to adolescence, and your little darling isn’t so little anymore. They have found their feet, exude confidence, enjoy a wonderful social life and seemingly need little from you anymore. However much we feel like our offspring are spreading their wings, they still need our support. However, there is a fine line to tread between supportive and pushy parent. You need to find that balance for the sake of your relationship with your child. Take a look at how you can remain on the right side of the line.
Don’t Be Unreasonable
It’s not fair to demand that your child become a doctor, a lawyer or an investment banker. Your child has every right to decide their own career path and shouldn’t feel pressure from you to go down a certain route. Many children don’t feel the pull of university and don’t measure their success through the lens of earning potential. Instead, they place more significance on their happiness and contentment. Perhaps your child wants to be a chef, a hairdresser or a baker. These are worthwhile professions in their own right and if your child is passionate about a career, you must support them in any way that you can. Tell them that you are proud and you will be behind them one hundred percent.
The art of listening is a hard one to master for a parent. You may feel like you should be talking all of the time, but there needs to be a level of mutual respect. If your child is showing an interest in drama or dance, try and harness this. Don’t dismiss their passion for ballet as a fad, and instead, find a dance school to cater to their newfound love. This could spark a real natural flair and potential career. At the very least, you are showing your child that you believe in them, and you’re discouraging the use of social media and tablet screens, which is always a positive.
By empowering your child to work towards a goal, you are being supportive. However, if your child shows no interest in dance, but you still send them off to try the new salsa lessons because you want a Latin champion in the household, then you are being pushy. Don’t do it, and allow your child to dictate their hobbies.
You Are Not Your Child
Pushy parents tend to live through their children by demanding that they partake in whatever they missed out on as a child. This isn’t healthy and can lead to resentment and a breakdown in a relationship. Let your child have the freedom that they deserve and allow them to make their own mistakes. Simply ensure that you are there to offer advice and be the shoulder or ear that they need.
As a parent you only want the very best for your child, but you must realise that your little darlings need to forge their own path in the world. As a supportive parent, you are there to guide and nurture. Remember this, and you won’t ever become the pushy parent you despise.
**This is a collaborative post**