I’ve abused my blog and not written an update in a little while so I figured I’d bash some thoughts and feelings out today.
I’ve been on Duloxetine for a while now; quite how long I don’t know as I’m having horrendous memory problems.
This alone is crippling me – I’ve always had a good memory and it’s photographic to an extent but at the moment I can’t remember anything.
I can put a spoon on top of the fridge, walk out of the room and I’ll forget where I’ve put it.
I work Mondays and Tuesdays and I was really mortified on Monday that I couldn’t write simple sequences of numbers or add up correctly – I’ve never been like that.
My GP seems to think it is due to my thyroid being overactive and I hope she is right – I find it all a little soul-destroying and I feel like people think I’m thick!
Tiredness. Oh my goodness, I’m exhausted. But it’s more than just tiredness – it’s like every limb is heavy and sometimes I can’t hold my head up.
I can sleep for 8-11 hours and still wake up feeling terrible and needing to sleep. I can’t get through the day without taking frequent rests and I feel pathetic.
I just remember what the consultant said at the fat-shaming rheumatology appointment and feel stupid – I’m a fat mess and if I could shake the weight I’d feel so much better.
My legs hurt so bad; it’s like growing pains but they hurt and at night make me cry with pain. The only way to sleep is to take the strong-shit painkillers and knock myself out which isn’t ideal when I have a toddler to look after the next morning.
My skin and hair is greasy. I look gross. I feel gross.
Mood wise I feel okay but I don’t feel great – I still have no motivation and most days my mood is low.
So is Duloxetine working for me?
The doctor says I have to give it six months; and so I will.
But I don’t feel overly confident.