Why a full-fat cheesecake should be just that

It’s that time of year in the realm of Slimming World where the Christmas countdown begins and that can only mean one thing.

Taster week.

The though fills me with dread.  I’m expecting a table full of scan-bran cake and jelly sweets made from no-fat yoghurts.

I’m also fussy as f*ck and the thought of Brenda making me tuck into some rancid-looking pasta creation at 10am isn’t cool.

I’ve thought about not staying to the meeting but I enjoy an hour of chat with some lovely ladies and taking full advantage of the free filter coffee… I’m usually off my tits on caffeine by the time I leave.

So I figured I would tackle the challenge of making something cool and tasty and show everybody in the group that you can bake tasty treats out of normal stuff without using the usual shit ingredients.

The hubs loves an artery-blocking American style Baked Cheesecake and so this was my challenge.

The usual recipe includes a whopping 900g(that’s three tubs) of full fat soft cheese, double cream(dribble) and sour cream(sex-wee) plus about thirty eggs to make it and it’s gorgeous… but obviously at around 657 syns per portion this would not be acceptable.

Browsing various recipe sites and blogs I decided on one which involved:

  • 750g Quark
  • 3 eggs
  • Vanilla essence
  • Sweetener

Now I’m not usually an advocate for these type of things – I hate artificial sweetener and only use it in my coffee or when I’m smashing the free filter coffee at group(having sixteen sugars tends to get bad looks) but I figured for the sake of experimenting and the fact I’m morbidly obese I would give it a shot.

After an hour of cooking the f*cking thing it emerged from the oven looking like a wobbly rubber cake.  Strictly speaking it didn’t emerge of it’s own accord but it was that hench it probably could have done.

It then collapsed quite quickly.  Once cooled I cut a slice for me and the hubs.

The verdict?

There is a reason Baked Cheesecake isn’t made from Quark.  It should never be attempted.  It was gross.

When I want cheesecake, I’ll just eat the damn cheesecake and run 6 miles straight after.

Back to the drawing board then, what the hell can I take?




One thought on “Why a full-fat cheesecake should be just that

  1. I cant stand quark makes me heave! I made little cups out of melted hifi bars and put a bit of toffee yogurt on top and a couple slices of banana . pretty tasty!

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